Thursday, July 24, 2014

Finding Peace and Moving Forward

The door and blinds have both stayed shut, I have tried to forget it exists in my home, but I bet I walk by that room 50 times a day.  I haven't been in there  since just after we heard the news.  We had spent hours painting, placing and re-arranging furniture, cleaning, and transforming this used-to-be office into a beautiful nursery. Today would have been her due date, so last night I decided it was time and I just needed to face the reality. 

There it was: the pink glider in one corner, and a cherry blossom tree in another, a perfectly white crib with the prettiest pink and tan damask bedding I have ever seen, still in it's packaging, baby books, stuffed animals, blankets, little outfits already washed and folded... all ready to go... just no baby.  I went in, shut the door behind me, sat in the floor and began to pray and to reflect.  It felt so good, so peaceful, such a relief from the heartache I thought I would find within those four walls. 

I think I have felt every emotion possible about the situation but just being in the nursery made me feel better and even excited again. It reminded me that there is a purpose for our journey, God knows the plans He has for us and therefore we don't have to worry. He has chosen us for adoption, there is a reason for all of this, we just have to stand strong in our faith and watch our future unfold. This room is where our hopes and dreams will one day come true and it will not be empty forever.

 It is all in His timing and it is all good with my soul!

Monday, July 14, 2014


Oh how I dread sharing bad news, but my heart aches today as we finally heard from our adoption agency's attorney that they have in fact filed for Chapter 7 bankruptcy after closing a few weeks ago. We were told that there were few funds remaining to be returned to the waiting families. Not sure what the next step will be for us as they had half ($15000) of our entire adoption savings and now it is just gone. Trying to keep the faith that this is all meant to be and praying for guidance. 

We are going to have phone conference with our social worker next week to see what our best options are to be able to move forward with adoption.  We have come too far to give up hope.  We know that our story has a happy ending.