The door and blinds have both stayed shut, I have tried to forget it exists in my home, but I bet I walk by that room 50 times a day. I haven't been in there since just after we heard the news. We had spent hours painting, placing and re-arranging furniture, cleaning, and transforming this used-to-be office into a beautiful nursery. Today would have been her due date, so last night I decided it was time and I just needed to face the reality.
There it was: the pink glider in one corner, and a cherry blossom tree in another, a perfectly white crib with the prettiest pink and tan damask bedding I have ever seen, still in it's packaging, baby books, stuffed animals, blankets, little outfits already washed and folded... all ready to go... just no baby. I went in, shut the door behind me, sat in the floor and began to pray and to reflect. It felt so good, so peaceful, such a relief from the heartache I thought I would find within those four walls.
I think I have felt every emotion possible about the situation but just being in the nursery made me feel better and even excited again. It reminded me that there is a purpose for our journey, God knows the plans He has for us and therefore we don't have to worry. He has chosen us for adoption, there is a reason for all of this, we just have to stand strong in our faith and watch our future unfold. This room is where our hopes and dreams will one day come true and it will not be empty forever.
It is all in His timing and it is all good with my soul!
Praying for your love!
ReplyDeleteI completely understand what you are going through. God does have a plan for us all. We just have to keep our heads held high and stay positive. You are an inspiration! Don't give up! We love y'all!!
ReplyDeleteJessica, we read your story and have a lot of compassion for couples like yourself. If you would like, please call Wade Morris at American Adoptions: 1-800-236-7846. We have a vast network of adoption professionals we work with and have some ideas. Thank you.
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